Friends and Detergent

So I am sitting here in the laundry room/lounge in the basement of Bean (my dorm). I'm hanging out with my artist friend. She wasn't doing to good and then we talked for a while and now she seems to be doing a little better and smiling a little more. I think this is what I thrive on. Listening to people's problems, giving advice and trying to make them feel better. I find myself doing it all the time. The best is when I know I have friends who will listen to my shit as well and have the same effect. My artist friend is becoming one of those wonderful people. Well, she already is a wonderful person but she is really becoming a good friend. I also have met a girl from Ashland who is an actress and very similar to me in many ways. I already feel as though I can talk to her and she can come to me with her troubles. I am lucky to be acquiring friends like these. I think that one of the main reasons I like counseling people is that it allows me to gain more empathy. I learned recently in my Acting I class that Stanislovski's method for acting (the most widely used method for acting worldwide) can be summed up in that one word. Empathy. The ability to feel what others feel. The more I listen to the trials and tribulations my friends are having the more I am able to walk in their shoes. The greater the variety of people I can understand the wider my range as an actor. Conversely, the more of an actor I become the more empathetic I become. This kind of makes it harder for me to have contempt for anyone, much less hate anyone which can be difficult when I really want to be mad. But then the empathetic part of me kicks in and I start trying to see the situation from the other person's point to view which diffuses the anger almost every time. I guess thats why I'm such a pacifist. Well, my laundry is done.

College Life

I've been here in Eugene for two and a half weeks now. Everything is so new. The transition has been jarring. It seems like everyday I have met one hundred new people and learned one hundred new things about living in Eugene and going to school at the University of Oregon. The shift is difficult but exciting at the same time. This new level of independence leaves me open to do as I please whenever I want and where ever I want. It forces me to create my own structure which is sometimes nerve wracking. Not knowing what I am going to be doing or who I am going to be hanging out with at any given time is strange. But it does allow me to be pretty spontaneous which is fun. I am a Theatre Arts major so I am focusing on what I truly love at an extremely elevated level. I have History of Theatre, Shakespeare and Acting. All of which are very intriguing. Acting class actually is keeping me sane. It is so much fun. My GTF (Graduate Teaching Fellow) for that class is incredible. The first week of school wore me out to the point of being sick for the last four days. I think I am getting better but I am still feeling pretty exhausted. I am hoping to become accustomed to this lifestyle soon. I cannot deal with being this tired all the time. It really takes a toll. Aside from all this complaining, college has been really fun and new so far!!

The Show Must Go On

So today I hosted a going away party for me and a couple of my other college bound friends. The party was going great and so many people whom I adore were there. I stepped into my room to be alone for a moment and then I felt the world stop turning, my past glowing like beautiful street lamps behind me. Familiar, comforting. My future like the vegas strip ahead of me. Exciting, colorful. It all hit me in an instant nearly overwhelming me. This is the biggest transition of my life. So I took a deep breath, turned towards the street lamps seeing they were fading then turned towards the neon signs and billboards. Ready or not, here I come I thought to myself. I can't wait to start this new chapter of my life but I will never forget all of the people who got me here. I love you all.

Inception Trailer A Capella Re-Dub

Okay, this made me laugh my ass off. Check it out.

Heart Carved Tree Trunk

When our lives finally met it was like two cogs or gears finally clicking into alignment. They were always meant to run adjacent to one another so it was no surprise how smoothly they adjusted. Soon they were spinning faster and more vibrantly then ever before. It would seem they have spun too fast because as soon as we were united time sped up. This past month has flashed before our eyes like so many beautiful photographs. Pictures of smiles, sun drenched walks, your hand in mine and a certain heart carved tree trunk. Love is what we have found. Of this I am certain. You make me smile. You are devine. You are more than that but words cannot really describe. What we have is special and rare. The knowledge of my impending departure jabs at me like hot poker. I cannot stand the thought of being away from you. I hope I am strong enough. Perhaps it is the anticipation of my leaving that is the worst. Once I have school to focus on I may relaxe into the distance. This is what I am hoping for. Cause for now babe, its looking like the worst thing ever. I keep hearing the last verse of Yankee Bayonet in my head. "Oh my love though our bodies may be parted though our skin may not touch skin, look for me with the sun bright sparrow I will come on the breath of the wind"

In My Room

I love my room. It has taken years to get it just how I like it and soon I will have to leave it to live in a dorm in Eugene. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited for college. But the idea of not being able to live, sleep and study in my room anymore is somewhat troubling. As I sit here on my bed I take a look at everything I love about this room:

1. It is my creation. In middle school, when I still shared a room with my brother, I began to beg my parents for my own room. Finally my dad caved and moved all of his stuff out of his den down the hall from me and my brother's room. When it was all cleared out it was a white box with two windows looking out onto our driveway and the street, a large metal desk, three white shelves (empty) and a closet (also empty). Over the four or so years since I moved in I have made it my own.

2. My bed is ridiculously comfortable. It is a plush top full with all of my favorite blankets on it. It is tucked into the corner of the room with no bed frame and is quite easy to crash on after a long day.

3. My walls are plastered completely with posters from shows I have been in or seen, a magnetic dartboard, posters of yin yangs and peace signs and pretty much anything else I could find to make it harder to see that the walls are all insane asylum white. I have my walls just how I want them now and it has taken a full four years to get them that way.

4. My shelves are crammed with stuff now to the point where they look like a paused game of Tetris. I happen to love this. I know where everything is and exactly how to move things so that they don't all come crashing down. Shelf number one has two parts. The first is lined with scripts from all the plays I have been in since sixth grade and pictures from most of them. These start with "Mystery in the Wings" and end with "Handprint Alley". The second part of shelf one has my book collection and my year books. They started in a nice row but I ran out of room and now they are half hazardly wedged together. Shelf number two has my stuffed animal collection. I have far too many stuffed animals for my age but I really don't care. I also have a couple model airplanes on this shelf. Shelf number three is all board games and a couple more stuffed animals.

5. My instruments are all kept in my room. I have a keyboard, two guitars and a ukelele. All of them bring me great joy. Guitar is the only instrument I have been playing for a considerable amount of time. Ten years to be exact. I enjoy playing it while singing and occasionally posting a song on Youtube. Also, when inspiration strikes, I have all the necessary tools to write songs in my room. I haven't written that many songs, but the ones I have written I am proud of.

6. The latest addition to my room is the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. I love these. before I got sleep every night I look up at them and smile. Stargazing may be my favorite activity outside of acting and singing. That explains the blog title and url in case that was fuzzy ;)

Although I am leaving my room, I know I will be able to come back to it and it will be the same. Warm, comforting, and full of the things that I love.

Portland Rain

The pitter patter of Portland rain

rinses clean all of the pain

that clings to the fibers of your soul

keeping you from being whole.

Let it drench your heart and mind.

Soon you will be inclined

to smile and know within your soul

life is brilliant, life is gold

Splash pitter patter pitter patter splash!!

Dance and sing, jump dive and dash.

Don't linger in sadness, fear or doubt.

They're not what life is all about.

The pitter patter of Portland rain

reminds you what you have to gain.

Anything you want and more

The pitter patter of Portland rain.

That is what I adore